Thank you Karma.

It's funny how things turn out. It felt great knowing the fact that she got kicked out. 

Karma is real & it works in mysterious ways. I never thought I would be able to feel right again but this was a start. 

So let me tell you how it went down. 

So it's Saturday night, i was hanging alone at my old apartment, waiting for everyone to gather up. I come across her stupid Twitter post bc she obviously wants to flaunt the fact that she was at my place of work. What was she thinking? I mean, I've warned her about not coming there. I have said it, dude has also said it directly to her, don't come around. 

1. If she dint flaunt it, maybe I wouldn't have found out & got upset. 

2. People may not have noticed her & she wouldn't have personally been kicked out. 

3. Just stay za fuck away.

So, it turns out everyone was ignoring her & was giving her awful service. (I did not know about this until later on) 

She twitters something along the lines of "not getting good service even after sleeping with the bartender" (she did not sleep with the bartender), then she deletes it. I still have it. 

Anyways, I go thru my night dancing & having an Xstatic time. I can feel the magic in the air. Energy was flowing & I can feel an overwhelming amount of positive energy. 

By the end of the night I find out that the GM told her to leave bc no one likes her there & she should go drink elsewhere. 

|| She was drunk & a nuisance to the eyes. ||

She still hangs around even tho no one wants her. How embarrassing, she's embarrassing. If I got kicked out, I would just leave and never come back & just not think about what happened. No, this stupid bitch decides to email the upper & lie & say "dint know he had a gf."

We all had a good laugh at that one. We laugh at girls who do this. Shows that awful people exist & try to ruin relationships. If we had decent humans who know better, maybe we wouldn't have so many heartaches.

I know that it's not all her fault bc the guy is usually the one who either starts it or egg it on. But if he did either of that, the right thing to do was not go along with it but bc she did, she made herself look like the bad one. Plus she did it before to another family. She liked the title "Homewrecker". Also, Like duh, guys are scum, and you fell for it. 

Where does that leave you? 

You ran back to your "favorite Valentine" bc at the end of the day, that's all you get. 

What more?

I feel foolish for staying. I can't believe that I'm allowing myself to be treated this way & I'm embarrassed for not walking away. I have no where to turn. I don't want to speak about the betrayal to my friends bc I don't want them to hate him even more. But all the things he's ever done to me, no one deserves. I'm just staying bc it's easier to work it out then to uproot so many lives due to anger. It's just not fair. I shouldn't have to be the one to give all the time. I never knew how it felt like for the person who is holding your heart to start crushing it over & over again in front of you. I'm not sure how much more I can endure. I know I'm better than this but I don't even want to give him another chance but there is so much to lose. I get why people struggle to get up & leave. It's just awful how others treat each other & expect to get away with it. Am I not human? Do you think that I do not feel? Have I not cried enough for all that you put me through? Is it my karma? Is this how life is going to be like? Me constantly having to check if he's fucking me over? What kind of life is that? 

It's so hard making life altering choices & sometimes you stall bc of it. Are you bit ashamed? How can you keep doing this to me? Do you not see how badly I hurt? What more do I have to go through until it all gets better? How has this bc such a sick cycle. What a sick world.